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Columbusā CCC run continues on Wednesday
The Columbus Crew head to Monterrey on Wednesday for the second leg of their Concacaf Champions Cup semifinal. The Crew took a 2-1 lead in leg one. Kickoff is set for 10:15 pm ET.
Some people try to ease into the work week. Here at The Daily Kickoff, we ask, āWhy not mix a little Monday morning anxiety with even more anxiety?ā Itās gotta be like multiplying two negatives, right? Eventually, weāll circle back around to positivity.
In that spirit, weāve decided to look at which of the leagueās struggling teams should be most worried about their current station in life. And to do it, weāve invited the Watchgridometerās confidence-deficient cousin, the Anxietometer. The Anxietometer looks at a team's current place in the standings and current position on various āweāre back/itās overā charts, and then checks out their underlying numbers to assess how much anxiety each team should be feeling.
The lower the number out of 100, the more worried they should be.
Portland Timbers
Anxietometer Rating: 19/100
Itāsā¦not great. Per Chris Rifer, the Timbers 3-2 loss to LAFC this weekend made them the first team in MLS history to score multiple goals in five straight games without picking up a win. Theyāre definitely high on the Watchgridometer right now. But what theyāre doing isnāt exactly conducive to winning soccer games.
Per American Soccer Analysis, the Timbers are allowing two goals per game and giving up 1.86 xG allowed per game. The even worse news is what theyāre doing in attack doesnāt seem sustainable. Theyāre averaging 1.9 goals scored per game on 1.18 xG created. All the bad things about the defense seem genuine and the good things about the attack might be fake.
It could be worse, I guess? The Anxietometer doesnāt have them in full panic mode yet. Itās tough to cross that threshold in the first few weeks of a new manager's tenure. Some patience is typically required in whatās basically a rebuilding year.
Chicago Fire FC
Anxietomer Rating: Not found
This is a weird one. We put Chicagoās current rate of 1 point per game into the Anxietomer and added their current rate of 1.1 expected points per game, but it wouldnāt give us a result. It just kept responding with a hand-drawn picture of a man sitting alone while wearing sweatpants that have clearly been worn well past their expiration date. I think it represents apathy. Itās also possible the Anxietometer gained sentience/prescience and is trying to tell me something about my future. Either way, probably not a great sign.
Sporting KC
Anxietometer Rating: 31/100
Right now, SKC are like a slightly improved version of Portland. Theyāre giving up a ton of goals ā 15 in their last six games ā while scoring enough of their own to make things interesting. Like Portland, though, itās not leading to results. SKC have won once in that six-game stretch and have 11 points through 10 games.
The underlying numbers donāt suggest they should be getting any more or any less out of their recent performances. This team seems to be exactly what their record suggests. That might surprise folks, considering how hot they were to end the season last year, but then again, they were outperforming their chance creation numbers by a significant amount.
Seattle Sounders FC
Anxietometer Rating: 40/100
Ok, yeah, if this were a Morale Meter, they would be at a zero out of 100. Itās been as awful a start to the year as anyone could have possibly imagined. Weāre in the 1st percentile of outcomes after this weekendās 2-1 loss to D.C. United. But Iām going to maintain my stance that this team will end up fine in the end for a few reasons.
- Itās still April of an MLS season, and weāve seen teams come back fromā¦.ok Iām not sure if weāve seen teams come back from worse, but Iām going to guess we have.
- Theyāre too talented not to be ok.
- Itās Seattle.
- The underlying numbers still think theyāre a pretty decent team.
Right now, Seattle have 0.67 points per game. Their expected points per game rate is 1.45. Theyāve been incredibly unlucky to not be a middle-of-the-pack team through their first nine games. If they can regress to the mean a bit with their finishing and stop picking up red cards, theyāre probably going to be fine. They might be even more than fine once Pedro de la Vega is back. Iām not prepared to give up on this group, yet.
San Jose Earthquakes
Anxietometer Rating: 15/100
The Quakes are actually underperforming their underlying numbers by an even greater margin than Seattle. The problem is even if they were living up to their expected points projections, theyād still be earning about one point per game. Thatās not quite Wooden Spoon worthy. But itās close.
Nashville SC
Anxietometer Rating: 11/100
Nashville feel particularly dire in a way the other teams here donāt. Obviously, eight points through nine games is bad. And their underlying numbers arenāt much better.
But what makes Nashville special is theyāve had to grin and bear it through some aesthetically displeasing soccer for a while now. Itās tough to complain about boring soccer when youāre getting results. Itās easy to rage about boring soccer when the results stop coming.
FC Dallas
Anxietometer Rating: 10/100
It would have been lower, but then Dallas went out and pulled off a win over Houston this weekend. Thatās probably not enough to save their season, but at least they improved their place on the āweāre back/itās overā chart.
But yeah. Beyond that, thereās not great news. It feels like this team passed a point of no return as soon as they lost Paxton Pomykal for the season. Thereās no season-changing regression to the mean coming to save them. They can only save themselves. And thatās a serious uphill battle right now.
Orlando City
Anxietometer Rating: 51/100
They arenāt in a great place on the āweāre back/itās overā chart after this weekās 2-1 loss to Toronto FC. The Reds scored twice in the final moments of the game to steal a win from an Orlando side that needed similar comebacks to earn points the last few weeks.
However, their underlyings areā¦well, theyāre not great, but theyāre something close to mid-range. Thatās not where Orlando fans wanted to be after a 63-point season in 2023, but, well, thatās where the underlying numbers suggested they should be last year too.
Theyāre still a good team that missed their opportunity to become a great one this offseason. There are worse positions to be in. But Iād understand if Orlando fans argue their rating should be worse.
New England Revolution
Anxietometer Rating: 8/100
The Revs are 28th in MLS in points per game. The Revs are 27th in expected points per game. This isnāt getting better any time soon. The only saving grace is they can start looking at this as a rebuilding year under a new coach. Then again, expectations were so much higher than that heading into the season.
- Matt Doyleās Sunday column is up and good.
- Denis Bouanga saved LAFC with a late golazo.
Good luck out there. Find a home.